Sunday, July 01, 2007

Happy Canada Day! Bonne Fete Canada!

So put aside the fact that Half of Canadians [are] too ignorant to be Canadian - I mean, who cares if people don't remember that Tommy Hunter was our first prime minister? Not.that.important when there are Canada Day parties to go to where obscure Canadian music groups entertain the ignorant masses while they're hoping some US record company will catch a glimpse of them so they can really make the big time.

There are hot dogs, hamburgers and poutine delicacies to be eaten. This is no time for trivial shit like "history". Sure a lot of us watched Canada: A People's History but no one said there was going to be a quiz at the end. Sheesh.

And if you don't know all of the words to our national anthem (which is not "Life is a Highway", contrary to popular belief), is that anything to be embarrassed about? I think not. As long as you can fake it at a hockey game and sing along with Stompin' Tom songs, that's all that matters.

Still feel like saying you're sorry for being an ignorant Canadian? I know, I know, we just cannot resist the urge to apologize for everything - just watch this and take comfort because no matter how stupid we may be about things in our country, we will never be as absolutely clueless about Canada as our neighbours to the south are:

So, grab another beer (because that's all we drink up here), whip out all of your Canadian flag gear (that's the red and white stuff - our flag is not brown with red and yellow markings, in case you didn't know), stuff the kids into the dog sled and head out to your nearest shindig. (You will need a map because you cannot count on listening for loud patriotic shouts to guide you. We are a quiet people. The better to plan for world domination.)

(There will not be a quiz about this post tomorrow.)

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