Sunday Food for Thought: Invisible Grandparents (and some great news!)

I gave birth to my one and only child, a daughter, back in 1977 when I was 18 and living common law with her father. Right off the bat, I had those two things working against me: living in so-called "sin" was very much frowned upon (yes, even after the age of the free love revolution of the 60s) and I was a teenaged mom (even though being 18 was regarded as being an adult).

Not long after she was born, I became yet another societal anomaly: a single parent. Let's not forget that the big controversy over the television character Murphy Brown choosing to be a single parent occured in 1992. By that time, my daughter was already 15 and I had already gone through years of the looks - you know - those looks of disapproval for being such a young mom who obviously was not wearing a wedding ring.

I interrupt this blog post to announce that I will be a grandmother to my 3rd grandherb sometime in October! Just got the call. Talk about great timing.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes. I first became at grandmother at age 35 when my daughter was 17. 35. Not your typical, grey-haired, bifocaled old woman in a rocking chair - although I resemble that look more now. People weren't quite sure how to react when I told them I was a granny. "Oh, you look so young!" "You're too young to be a grandmother!" "Wow."

That was mostly fun while it lasted but the message behind some of those messages was that I was actually too young to be a grandmother. Yet another societal anomaly. I definitely felt alone. It wasn't that I expected society to celebrate young grandparents. That was an unrealistic expectation. But I often thought it would be nice if modern culture and media actually acknowledged that we existed. They still don't.

Grandparents on television these days don't quite all resemble Santa Claus and the missus anymore. Instead, they're typically in their 50s with successful careers, dyed hair and injections of botox to hide their age. So how far have we really advanced? Not much.

So, while mainstream society couldn't and still can't celebrate young grandparents from every socioeconomic and cultural sphere, I hope some of them know that I do at least. I know you're out there. I know how invisible some of you feel. And I know you deserve recognition and acceptance.

Life happens. People have children and grandchildren at a young age as a result of differing cirumstances. That's a fact and we don't do a service to people who've had to live with that reality by pretending young grandparents don't exist.

And with that, I have some great news to spread! My 3rd grandherb. What a gift. And I'm only 47.