I'm sure I don't need to point out how utterly and incredibly anal retentive some people are on that site to focus on punctuation instead of that soldier's pain.
...Is my punctuation and spelling the enemy here?Maybe so,but since im starting to get carpultunnel from explaining things,i thought id put this out and hope for the best.Im a not so important guy from ohio guys.I just so happen to think alot and until now didnt have to many outlets for these thoughts.
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Hopefully if your noticing the length of this than you can atleast see the part of my mind that just goes and goes non stop.Someone sent me a comment saying that they feel like i type like im talking and this is true.The comma for example is something i really hate lol This because the comma is expected to be inserted in ways i dont use it.I no it should be there but frankly i dont use what i dont have too.I gotta wait another day now to post something that i was hoping would really break me out of the ordinary.This cant happen now because of this lack of faith.I have nothing to prove guys.I just want to tell you about where my life ended and where its begun anew.
Ive seen and been apart of things that you cant imagin.I was a 44 Bravo while i was deployed.For those that dont know its a welder.Sounds simple enough right.I thought my deployment would be easy,this is why im nobodies hero.I wanted it easy because it was the very last place i wanted to be,but there i was.I was suppose to repair some junk and go on about my business like the war wasnt happening.
They had some openings for our units TMT or Tactical Movement Team,and i just wanted to get off the damn FOB before i went nuts and i heard that Camp Anaconda had a ice cream place (which they do).So they give me a M60 and say "hey just take it on this 1 run and dont sweat it."Hell i was told i didnt even have to clean it because it was gonna be a go there and get back kinda deal.It wasnt.On that first trip a friend of mine named Specialist Fredrick was going with me in my truck to retake his ASVAB test for his E5.We got out of the gate and crossed a median.Thats when i learned that the enemy doesnt just plant IED's.They actually put full gas cans on top to make sure they burn us inside the truck.When this particularly nasty IED went off He was hit in 7 places that left him in a mess that was very hard to describe to his mother.I did however because my chain of command just said he was "killed in the line of duty" which to me seemed like a lie.I was unharmed because i was the gunner and by this freak luck the fire ball burned my DCU's to a toasted marshmellow and ended up giving my frined in the truck behind me 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his chest and face.
So im thinking everythings cool until i look down and see the skeletal mush that was someone that never stopped talking about how much his mom worried about him,and how he knew what he was doing.I didnt get severily injured but i was screwed after that.That face is in my eyes right now as i write this.Thats it for him.Thats the last way he will be remembered by the same guy he use to play Halo 2 against.No more laughs because the mortars missed our home by 20 or 30 feet.Thats it.I still have the boots i was wearing because thats all they would let me keep.Dont you understand.There are more important things people.Inhale your life and exhale strength.I DONT WANT YOUR KIDS OR FAMILY TO BE ME!!!This is the only therapy left for me.That smell people.You never forget that smell.
My heart broke when I read his words but I began to fume when I read continual criticism of his writing style in the comments - even after he explained why he writes the way he does.
I have PTSD. I've had it for years. I know how damn hard it still is some days to write anything. Some days it takes so much concentration and Googling to check spelling and facts that I know are somewhere in this head of mine but just aren't accessible anymore that putting together something coherent for this blog becomes a huge task. But I do it. Because I have things to say. And so does that soldier.
People with PTSD* need an outlet. Whether we find that through therapy, support groups, keeping a journal or blogging, what's important is that the memories of the events that caused the trauma are dealt with. For some people, like me, PTSD is chronic. It took almost a year for me to finally get the diagnosis and begin treatment. That made the road back that much longer. It's vital that people get help as soon as they're able to and that they have support.
Criticizing someone's punctuation because you're too stuck in your own views of conformity is not helpful. It's selfish. Period. And in the case of that Daily Kos posting, it's just plain ugly.
May that soldier find some peace - a damn hard goal to reach when you've been so harmed by circumstances.
People who willfully ignore the trauma of others because it makes them uncomfortable to read the words, to look at the pictures, to think about the horrors, live in a world of dangerous illusions. What will they do when those horrors arrive on their doorsteps? Maybe then they'll understand why punctuation is the last thing that will be on their minds.
Bring the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan home NOW. How many more lives have to be destroyed?
* I am not diagnosing that soldier with PTSD. I simply see the parallels between my experience with trauma and his.
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