Monday, October 02, 2006

5 Things Feminism Has Done For Me

This is a tough post to write on a day when at least 3 female Amish children in Pennsylvania were executed in their one room schoolhouse while 7 of their female classmates were also wounded by a 32 year old local gunman who let the male children go, hanging onto the girls to apparently exact revenge for something that happened when he was 12 years old.

It's just too eerily reminiscent of Marc Lepine's massacre of 14 Montreal women in 1989. Lepine blamed his spree on the effects of feminism in his life.

We don't know exactly what happened in the Pennsylvania murderer's life. He killed himself as well and more facts will come out once the suicide notes he wrote are released. It's just the fact that he only shot and killed girls that's deeply disturbing and that lends the connection to what Lepine did. And it leaves me, once again, incredibly sad.

As for why I am writing about what feminism has done for me, I was tagged by Scott over at Progressive Bloggers in an effort made by PB to highlight the importance of continuing to fund activist groups in the face of the federal Conservative's cuts to the Status of Women agency's budget last week. 50 other ProgBloggers have already written on the topic - an incredible response.

Monday marks the beginning of Women's History Month in Canada.

The objectives of Women'’s History Month 2006 are to make Canadians aware of Aboriginal women's contributions to Canada, to their communities and to their families. It is also intended to promote understanding of the realities of Aboriginal women'’s lives and the unique challenges they face.

This year marks a number of significant anniversaries: the 25th anniversary of Canada's ratification of the United Nations Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW), the 15th anniversary of the establishment of the Royal Commission on Aboriginal Peoples and the 10th anniversary of the release of the final report of the Royal Commission on Aboriginal Peoples, People to People, Nation to Nation.

Canada's federal government has certainly failed our country's aboriginal women over the decades and since the current Conservative government has refused to continue the work begun by the 2005 Kelowna Accords, their fate is still doomed and that is our nation's shame.

I am not aboriginal. As a white female who knows that she's received advantages over those with different skin colours in this country, I can speak about my difficulties as a female in this society but I must be mindful that my aboriginal sisters are still far behind me in terms of privilege.

It's hard enough at times to face discrimination based on gender, but when that's complicated by further barriers like race, religion, sexual preference, disability or income status, many Canadian women just feel trapped. And, unfortunately, many still are. Trapped in hopeless economic situations due to income inequality or family circumstances. Trapped in bad relationships with misogynists who beat them because they believe women are the 'weaker' sex and should be obedient. Trapped because there aren't enough shelter beds. Trapped even if they leave because they usually take the kids too and have to struggle in every way to craft a new life. Trapped mentally by media images of perfect airbrushed women. Trapped emotionally by those who claim they either shouldn't have feelings or just shouldn't express them. Trapped in the suburbs living in loneliness because their perfect life as promised in the fairy tales didn't come to pass. Trapped in so many ways...

What feminism promises is freedom.

I could write a book about what feminism has done for me so it's hard to provide just 5 things in a protracted list but, since that's the challenge, here's what I've come up with keeping in mind that since feminism to me means freedom and equality (not superiority) for women and that I am not prone to get involved in more intellectual discussions about this or that kind of feminism and that anyone who tries to understand feminism must first know that it's not about subjugating men at all.

1. Feminism grounded me in reality.
The myths I was taught as a child through family examples and via the church and schools I belonged too began to shatter when I became aware that traditional stereotypes of women could be challenged and had been by some very strong and sometimes unconventional women in the past such as The Famous Five and contemporary women of my time during the 1960s and 70s who were seen as such a threat to society for making their voices heard and provoking change. They gave me hope.

2. Feminism taught me about equality.
As a white, French-Canadian girl growing up in western Canada the major societal discrimination I faced was by those who outwardly loathed French people. But, I also began to understand the subtleties (and in the Catholic church, outright obvious) subjugation of females. I learned that I could be equal to my male friends and more importantly that I deserved to be (which eventually led to my departure from the church). It astounds me to this day that women still don't have wage parity and that we are still seen by far too many - men and women alike - as frail little creatures who have to be protected from life.

3. Feminism gave me freedom.
My dysfunctional home atmosphere gave me no opportunity to dream big. As the invisible youngest of 6 kids in an alcoholic home, my future was just not a topic of discussion so I was never inspired to grab for the brass ring. But - it was important for me to grow up in a societal atmosphere of major changes for women which could sweep me beyond that anvil to a place where I could make choices that weren't hampered by my gender. I happily worked in non-traditional jobs when I was younger and felt proud doing so. My gender would not be an obstacle and wasn't. I also had the freedom to stand up as a woman and claim my rights. How I met that challenge throughout the years in another book in itself but feminism at least gave me the tools I needed even if I didn't always use them.

4. Feminism gave me a voice.
I grew out of the invisible child role and found my voice by realizing that the traditional silence of females in bad situations was actually killing too many of us - literally. That voice helped me to know that I had a choice in my relationships and that I had a right to set limits. It also taught me that I had the right to be heard, acknowledged and respected and that no one had the right to treat me as lesser than simply because I was a woman. (I could tell you stories...)

5. Feminism gave me strength.
Through the examples of who had gone before me - burning their bridges and their bras - I knew that I had a network of understanding women and men who would support me when I needed it and help me realize how I could make my personal strengths work in my life. If I hadn't been able to harness my strength during some very dark times, I simply would not have survived. My mantra became 'tolerance ends where abuse begins' and it is what defines my ideas and relationships to this day.

When I was thinking about this post while looking back on my tumultuous life, I felt that at times I had failed the feminist movement by not sticking to its principles 100% but I also realized that you don't suddenly wake up one day, proclaim you're a feminist and then immediately practice all you've learned. Being a feminist is a process and the challenge of overcoming deeply ingrained stereotypes within myself and society is a matter of constant vigilance. Society and I still have a long way to go when it comes to women's equality and freedom, but at least we're moving in the right direction. That's what counts.

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