Random News & Views Roundup

- Hot off the presses: new Republican scandals. Did Rep Curt Weldon help his daughter's lobbying company or is he just a victim of the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy™ which apparently has now recruited uber-conservative Alberto Gonzales whose Justice department oversees the FBI? Is Arizona congressman Kolbe being investigated in the page scandal or was that camping trip just about roasting marshmallows? Did this Washington candidate step over the line when he called for Rummy's resignation? Will John Warner take him out to the woodshed? Stay tuned tomorrow for another episode of The Dung and The Feckless.

- Did you know the US Coast Guard is shooting at us? Remember, it's only fun until somebody gets shot in the face.

- Iran's president says Bush is inspired by Satan. Satan was not immediately available for comment. The Church Lady, however, chimed in with 'Well, isn't that special?'.

- The Bush Doctrine isn't dead yet, Pat Buchanan. It's like Jason in those Friday the 13th movies: no matter how many times you try to kill it, it keeps coming back.

- So much for that whole 'bringing democracy to Iraq' thing.

- Republicans, Canadian Conservatives...when it comes to women's rights they're two peas in an equality-hating pod.

- Einstein must be rolling over in his grave:

VIENNA, Austria (AP) -- The head of the U.N. nuclear agency warned Monday that as many as 30 countries could soon have technology that would let them produce atomic weapons "in a very short time," joining the nine states known or suspected to have such arms.

Speaking at a conference on tightening controls against nuclear proliferation, Mohamed ElBaradei said more nations are "hedging their bets" by developing technology that is at the core of peaceful nuclear energy programs but could quickly be switched to making weapons.

ElBaradei, chief of the International Atomic Energy Agency, called them "virtual new weapons states."

Bush quickly responded with, 'I'm not talking to any of them. Ever. So there.' He was then overheard mumbling 'Presidentin' is hard work,' as he walked away.