On Fear

The following is an essay I wrote for no one in particular during the late 1990s when I was struggling to deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It moves beyond the news stories I typically comment on here day to day to address the ongoing struggle of dealing with fear in general. Sometimes, it helps to step back and look at the broader picture - beyond the headlines and how they affect us - to understand how we can better cope with reality.

On Fear

What drives mankind? What force has been the main source of our evolution? And what has all of mankind held in common? These questions have been pondered by philosophers, writers, and scientists since the dawn of our existence. Many theories have calmed the masses as they search to understand man's motivations and beliefs. Others have disturbed us as we are forced to examine our own values, in order to understand who we are.

The essence of being has always been a mystery and has evoked very provocative studies and examinations of our innermost thoughts. Those who have dared to expose their beliefs have often been shunned or ridiculed for their ideas. History has taught us that genius is seldom recognized in its own time and that insanity is a more comfortable explanation for those who dare to challenge our fundamental beliefs about what mankind's nature really is. Had it not been for those who have have ventured into the unknown and who, at times, have given their very lives to defend their revelations, our world and our lives would never have been understood as they are today.

To speculate is to risk. And to share that speculation is to exercise our highest function as persons. What would we know about ourselves today, had it not been for great minds such as Einstein, Socrates, Rousseau, Sartre, Picasso, Da Vinci, and their many mates in the spirit of dreaming? And does the average man understand how they have been molded by these great minds? We often take for granted that we are all intricately connected by history. History, in and of itself, can be appreciated for what it was but it's the creation of history today that often goes unnoticed. The miracles of genius continue to magically transform who we are but are fought with much resistance. It is this resistance that bonds us all and the mastery of that resistance that moves us forward. Throughout our time on earth, there have essentially been two sorts of men. Those who fear and those who are able to conquer fear to enlighten the world.

Fear is innate. It is our indistinguishable link with the other members of the animal kingdom. It is our protector, our shield, our burden, our hindrance, and our nature. Throughout our growth into what we now call modern man, it is the one characteristic that has remained as primitive as the earth itself. In the 1700s, philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau, in his attempt to understand the nature of man as compared to that of other animals, concluded that we separate ourselves form the rest of the animals by possessing vanity, the need to have and protect ourselves and our property in our community. But, what is vanity, except for an act of fear? If man were truly fearless, vanity would not be necessary. To be vain implies a need for higher status, approval, and the need for worth. These needs are driven by fear of acceptance and approval.

The presence of fear in man has spawned beliefs in gods, the formation of religious communities, the call for war, the acts of criminals, the execution of innocents, the desire for power, and the drive to conquer. It has also prompted the search for truth, the struggle for peace, the quest for love, the wisdom of the greats, the creativity of the obsessed, and the empathy for mankind. Fear causes a disturbance in the spirits of men that demands an answer. Those who have acknowledged it have given themselves and mankind many gifts. Those who continue to ignore its cries have blemished their own spirits. Most live with a tolerance of fear that attempts to console its constant presence. Such is most of modern man in his attempt to claim his space on this earth.

The predominant and most damaging aspect of fear is the denial of one's true essence. How many mediocre lives have been lived by those who are unable to accept their fear and move beyond it to live a life that is wholly meaningful? How many dreams have been ignored in order to live as we think we should, never exploring the absolute best in ourselves for fear of alienation? How many children are raised in fear to mold them into persons who live out their lives as expected by others? How much genius and ingenuity has been lost to us all?

In thinking of those we admire the most and would like to emulate, do we see that these persons are fearless spirits? That they have chosen to calm their fears by overcoming them. Is it enough to idolize these few, or can we risk enough to become one of them? These are fundamental questions that we all answer either consciously or unknowingly. Many have not realized that their life energy is so drained by ignoring their own fears. Outside forces are much easier to objectively blame. However, bowing to those sources only serves to suppress dreams and to make the fear inside grow. We are not helpless. But, we can choose to be. Or we can choose to stem our fear by honoring that it exists, while taking steps to deal with it.

In all of man, no other part of our nature has caused as much hate, distrust, envy, disillusionment and death as has fear. In all of man, no other part of our nature has spurned as much energy, necessity, creativity, speculation and love as has fear. We hold in esteem those who have conquered it and have brought us wisdom and nourishment. Yet, we do not allow ourselves to fully live because of it. To be fearless is to be whole and to live a brilliant life.