Sunday, September 07, 2008

Canadian Election Watch - Day 1

Game on!

My election prediction: some older white guy will end up running our country in October.

Alrighty then...

A note to my American readers. I'd call you "friends" but I don't want to sound like John McCain. Anyway, when our current PM 'Steve' campaigned for the Cons the last time around, he promised fixed election dates because he really really would rather be an American (I guess). So, his party pushed a bill and it became a law. Yay, Steve, his partisans applauded. But now, since he really does love des choses American he thought he'd emulate your Emperor George and turn around and break that law the minute he got the chance. Thus, although we Peon Canadians all thought we were going to the polls in October of 2009, Steve has decided that he wants to harvest our votes this October instead because he's out of ideas, basically.

'But, wait!', you say, 'At least you don't have to suffer through an excruciatingly long election season like we do, ergo, [I know some of you use the word "ergo" - I've heard you] by having the election next month, you'll be spared all of that."

Well, thank you for caring about our collective sanity but when an election is called in this country (or when the writ is dropped according to this new law that apparently isn't the law anymore), our campaign season only lasts just over a month - always. We aren't the suckers for political punishment that you guys are. We save that kind of brutality for hockey games.

In the meantime, since Steve knew he'd be calling an election, he's already put out ads trying to sell himself as Soft and Cuddly Sweater Vest Guy. That may attract the typical Conservative voter who's searching for a daddy figure (get therapy, will ya?) but we're not big on the whole 'biography' son of a mill worker kind of stuff up here. Time is short. There are issues to discuss. Screw Mr Sweater Vest and his daddy schtick.

As for the major opposition parties - none of which really have much of a hope in hell of gaining majority status (not that the Cons are guaranteed that either): the New Dems have released their ad, "A New Kind of Strong", which I haven't been able to watch online due to video problems. I assume it isn't a deodorant commercial, as the name implies. The Liberals (that's a sweater Dion has on - a vest with arms) came out passionately swinging with Stephane on Sunday emphasizing greeniness.

While Steve seems to have the edge in the polls as the most "decisive" - not always an admirable trait: see - Bush, George - Stephane will have to overcome his Nerdy French Guy image. Jack Layton - well, he'll huff and puff but he won't be blowing any houses down. Maybe if he'd stop compromising his party's core principles by propping up the Cons, he'd actually get somewhere.

But, I digress.

One issue that both the Liberals and Conservatives won't be able to run from is our continuing commitment to the Afghanistan war that both parties have pledged this country to until 2011. I suspect that if the Cons win a majority, Canadian troops will be over there until eternity and/or when that war actually ends - whichever comes first. And Canadians were all reminded of our losses in that useless war on Sunday when shortly after the election call it was announced that 1 more of our soldiers has died and 7 were injured. The fact that support for this mission is at its lowest point ever ought to be a major concern for both parties, but just how loud will Canadians yell - especially in the political battleground that is and always has been the province of Quebec? That remains to be seen.

So grab your popcorn, pop open a Canada Dry™ or a Molson™, stay away from the processed meats, mushrooms and cheese and enjoy the game. And don't forget to yell "Car!" if you see one coming. We all have to look out for each other up here. Dog knows the government won't do it for us - no matter who wins.

See you on (a less wordy) Day 2.

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