Thursday, September 10, 2009

Stephen Colbert: Premier of "Colberta"?

We are absolutely desperate for political change here in Alberta. ("We" being those of us in touch with reality). And Torontonian (gasp!) Dan Zinman is spearheading the campaign to rename our province "Colberta", making Stephen (The Fighting Stephen!) Colbert our new quasi-premier.

In the world according to, it would be out with Ed Stelmach, Norman Kwong and all things French (Leduc would become The Duc), and in with Stephen Colbert, he of Comedy Central faux-Fox News fame, who would become a kind of non-aligned provincial leader for life.

“It is time for The Colbert Nation to rise up and request . . . no, demand, that the province of Alberta be turned over to the leadership of Colbert, who can rule the new state of Colberta with an iron fist, an unyielding gut, and balls of steel,” says the website, which also includes a number of Colb-mandments (Article Five: “Nickelback has got to go. We hear Saskatchewan [boring correction: "Manitoba" -catnip] may be interested.”)

I, for one, would welcome our new comedic overlord - although I would keep our Frenchiness as I'm sure Colbert (silent "t") would too. (Plus, being French myself, I might be deported. I hear Belize is nice though...)

He is holding off on contacting Colbert himself until he has some actual Albertans behind his scheme. You see, there’s one catch: Zinman is from Toronto. He has never actually been to Alberta.

I'll forgive him for that last fact. Anybody with half a brain anywhere knows that we have been awash in faux, so-called "Progressive" Conservative muck for far too long - unlike the real brand of conservatism Colbert would restore.

Today, Colberta. Tomorrow, Colbanada! Watch out Stephen Harper.

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